5:15 PM



8:51 PM

6:20 PM

粉雪 ねえ 心まで白く染められたなら

二人の孤独を分け合う事が出来たのかい?

12:24 PM


It had been a tough night.

Sis was coughing away beside me in the dark, with me trying to control mine as well. Couldn't really sleep the whole night, was tossing and turning on the bed while I floated in and out of my dreams.

The dreams I had these few weeks are among the more mystical ones, and I kept dreaming of elements which have never appeared before in my unconscious adventures. Last night I dreamt of the deep blue sea under the moonless nightsky, and a colony of blue whales which appeared one by one in the water.

Woo~ The big and majestic blue whales!

Whales may symbolize the levels of our awareness, our perceptiveness, and our intuition. Some think that they represent our emotional power. For most people, dreaming about whales is a pleasant experience. These huge water dwelling mammals may be symbolic of the connection that exists between the unconscious and conscious mind. Alternatively, it indicates a relationship or business project that is too enormous to handle. But it is settling to know that a whale of any sort in the dream is a sign of protection and help and if one sees the flukes of its tail he will have much good luck.

To see the sea in your dream, represents your unconscious and your transition between your unconscious and conscious. It also often represents your emotions. The dream may also be a pun on your understanding and perception of a situation. "I see" or perhaps there is something you need to "see" more clearly. Alternatively, the dream may indicate a need to reassure yourself or offer reassurance to someone. It brings about hope, a new perspective and a positive outlook on life no matter how difficult your current problems may be. Luckily the sea I saw in my dream was a calm blue one with occasional waves which reminded me of the presence of the wind.

Most people don't experience the sense of touch in their dreams. You may know that it is windy in your dreams, but rarely will you get pushed around by it. The sound of the wind and the movement of objects around you are probably what alerts you to the fact that there is wind in the dream, rather than a sensation of wind on your skin. The sound of the wind is considered by some to be special in the sense that it is a sound of nature, which could have spiritual significance. The wind may represent changes in your life. The greater the force of the wind, the grater the change in your life. A very gusty wind could represent the stress and turmoil in your life, but also the energy that you need to make changes. Mine weren't very gusty in the dream, so I guess possible changes won't be too unsettling for me.

And I seemed to be standing by a fence in the dream while there was a celebration going on on the other side of the seaside. There were mini laser fireworks (yah, it's that kind you see at the old musical fountain at Sentosa) in the sky, so I should be in some significant occasion's celebration in there.

To dream of a celebration, represents one's achievement toward a higher level of growth. This dream may also be a self-congratulatory one for the goals one has achieved and for the recognition he has gained. (Haha.. This shouldn't be referring to my academic results. X_X) One may be honoring some victory, success, or accomplishment. Alternatively, to dream of a celebration, symbolizes freedom and emotional release. Celebration dreams are common for those who anticipate some upcoming turning points or events in their waking life.

Woke up with throat feeling all dried up and phlegm choking me. Eew. Washed up and went to see the doc. Think my sis is going to see the doc at night when she comes back from school this evening. Lalala~ Always treat illnesses when they just started! And don't eat so much choc like me. X_X

I realised some changes cannot be instilled overnight. I used to be able to sleep at only 3am and not feel lethargic on the next morning, one of the reasons being I would be waking up at around noon la, so I won't be lacking in sleep. But now just one night without sleep can turn my whole system upside down, even if I can sleep till noon to make up for the loss, my eyes will still open at around 7plus in the morning before I piak back for the second round of rest till noon. Somehow the rest is interrupted by my body clock le.

No more bedtime beyond 1am! My energy field is all messed up liao! Roar!

Time to take my medicine! Woohoo! Bleah~


1:07 AM



1:00 PM


8am in the morning. Room. Bed.

::Mummy rolled over with bolster and cracked open one eye::

Bunbun is staring gleefully at her mother's face, as usual.

Baby: Mummy! Mummy! Morning! ::giggles::
Mummy: Morning dearie... ::pat pat:: ::yawn::
Baby: Mummy wake up wake up! Today you got gym!
Mummy: ::sian:: Eee... Mummy wants to sleep luhh... ::Turns around back face baby::
Baby: Climb onto mummy's back and use her small puffy fins... WACK::
Mummy: Arrghh~ Faints::
Baby: Giggles::

I know my naughty baby will use my laptop for this when I was unconscious.

Naughty bunbun! >__<

6:36 PM

生命第一课是流泪，我学会呼吸和感觉。
从爱开始我学会喜悦，却因为在乎学会胆怯。

你对我说再见那天，我学会爱的不完美。
我在你缺席了的黑夜学会怕黑。

我正在了解这世界，让每天成为新的起点。
我会走向前，不让自己再回到昨天。

爱过你才学会离别，犯过错才学会后悔。
哭过后才学会谅解，我会学会我的世界。

失去你拥抱的甜美，我学会珍惜的可贵。
当今天已经告别，我写下日记，学会不轻易浪费。

爱过你的那个我，已经学会去翻越伤悲。
忘记很辛苦，但我知道这样才对。

我正在了解这世界，让自己成为每个起点。
我会走向前，不让自己再回到昨天。

被爱过才学会感谢，离开你才学会干脆，逆着风我学会起飞。

在我的世界……我学会。

12:59 PM


放假之前在学校的书局里弄来了一本2009星座书，早就看得烂熟。昨天早上回到家就看看到桌子上多了3本2009生肖手册：鸡、羊、兔。多谢啦妈咪~


肖兔女性之运势与性格

肖兔的女性是温柔善良的女孩，待人亲切，处事圆融，是一个很讨人喜欢的可人儿，同时也是男性心目中的理想对象。

你喜欢活跃于社交的场合，结婚后仍然会在职场上奋斗，不会只安于家里。由于你喜欢活跃于社交，所以对于时尚流行相当敏感，当然你的打扮也是走在时代的尖端。

年轻的时候，你是一个人见人爱的可人儿，又懂得打扮，因此常有异性对你展开追求；又因为你初入社会，涉世不深，往往对于追求者不懂得如何拒绝，导致产生感情问题，如果这些问题不能解决，则会影响你的好运。结婚的年龄比较低，而且较早有小孩。

到了壮年的时候，是你一生中运势最高点的时候，此时最好不要有三角情的牵绊，否则会使你的好运逆转为霉运。另外，由于你此时的收入较多，所以用钱比较大方，这点你可要自我克制，否则到了晚年，好运没这么多，赚的钱相对也少；因此最好在此好运时期多存点钱，以免老来没老本。

到了晚年就不再有晚年的好运势，如果年轻时有储蓄，此时就能过着悠闲的生活，若无积蓄，则生活会比较困顿。

----

八字总量评命

三两八钱：此命为财帛丰厚宜称之命也。

一身骨肉最清高，早入簧门姓氏标。待到年将三十六，蓝衫脱去换红袍。


在网络上找到了意思：

一生骨肉最清高

是說你的先天稟賦甚好,有個高潔風骨的特質,起心動念都是脫俗優雅的.

早入黌門姓名標

說你少年得志,早登金榜.黌門是學校,古人認為這種格局早就是秀才以上的結構,將來更是不可限量.

待看年將三十六　

等到三十六歲以後,已經在社會上有一定的知名度與地位了.

藍衫脫去換紅袍

藍衫是一般平民的衣著,紅袍則是官服.也就是說那時候才是你真正揚眉吐氣,飛黃騰達的時機.

----

上了一些网站去看看，发现八字尽然还有男女之分的！

三两八： 此乃财帛丰厚宜称之命也

男：

一生骨肉最崇高 早入科门姓名扬 待到年方三六九 脱掉蓝衫换红袍

女：

凤鸣岐山四方扬 女命逢此大吉昌 走失夫君音信有 晚年衣禄财盈箱

百度的解释：是一个很好的命，很绚丽，如果是个女的抽中就命更好了，不但可以寻回走失的夫君，还可以生年年富足。


走失的夫君？？？什么嘛？！MIA? 还是真的失踪？？头脑第一个想到的就是《绳之以法》的画面。恐怖。还是出轨？Then too bad lor, 妾椟中有玉，恨郎眼内无珠。还是他自己走掉，跑到荒岛上混够了才回来？Sounds so 'Survivor'…… =.= 还有说什么丰足……快点快点……把钱交出来，全部都是我的~呵呵呵~

Lalala~ 这就是命~

Kena tagged on this photo on facebook. Haha! Missed you gals! ^__^

9:49 PM


好难受啊……感觉好像是有根刺儿在喉咙。上也不是，下也不是的。

很无聊，结果去看了以前的部落格。找到了曾经写下的很多很有意义的想法。

“自由”只不过是一块需要我们学习准确拿捏的玩具粘土。

隐形的它，一直掌握在我们的手上。我们却常以为它不在身边。

直到有一天它决定在我们面前现身，却让毫无准备的我们不知所措。

当它再次从我们肉眼所能看见的范围中消失，我们却又陷入低潮。

其实，“自由”它也好辛苦。

因为人们都把它看得太重，所以不管是勇敢现身或是保持隐形状态，“自由”都无法得到很好的对待。 它在思考：人们到底是欢迎我，还是排斥我？

“自由”需要的其实很简单。

它只需要一个懂得满足与感恩的主人。不管它现身与否，主人都能以感激的心感受到它的存在。

在遇到不如意时，有谁不想摆脱困难，得到属于自己的自由？

但是我们往往都把事情看得太重，又不懂得知足。满脸憎恨的表情，气愤无奈握紧的拳头，当然把“自由”吓得跑得远远的！

握紧拳头，你什么也得不到。松开拳头，你就能拥有。

我们不应该害怕“自由”的庞大，因为不管怎样“自由”只不过是一块需要我们学习准确拿捏的玩具粘土。它是我们从小就拥有的，不应该觉得陌生。We are all born to be free! Wheee~~

May 11， 2007

有很多事情就是这样，在你好无防备的时候发生。然后在发生了之后，一溜烟离开，只留下还搞不清楚状况的你追着它早已消失的影子。

读了Serene的 blog。她还是一样。她还是那个傻傻的天使。
她说生命中的小插曲会随着时间淡去，与她再次擦肩而过。

我不知道她的小插曲是哪一首，也不知道为什么它会再次发生了又离开。但至少我知道每一件发生的事都有它的意义存在，尽管它有多失望，尽管它有多无奈。 更何况它是一次再一次地发生。

等着吧！你会领悟到它们真正的意义的。到时候你再决定要不要将自己从过去中抽离~
因为小插曲也有成为主题曲的可能。^__^

Feb 26， 2007

原来wise的人不是现在的我，而是以前的那个我。本来是用来安慰别人的话语，如今却对自己这么贴切，好像是为自己量身定做的辅导。我觉得现在的我应该再说不出这些话了……

现在和以前比起来……我到底哪里变了？

“你可以欺骗世界上所有的人，可是骗不了自己。 ”

5:52 PM


I just woke up to a sense of desperation and helpnessness. Total bad mood.

Had a bad dream which reflected the exact same thing which I was going through.

Went online and found no one to talk to.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

And this song has been haunting me since last night's dancefloor craze.

3:08 PM

"Come baby, make cute face! Aiyo camera is here la, not there!"

Hehe... Feel like pinching the face! ^^

Have a few tuition lobangs. There's one Sec 3 Geography lobang at Tanah Merah, and Primary school lobangs at Bedok. But then so far wor... Will consider carefully first.

That day was on my way to my tutee's house on Sunday when this Malay family came up the bus: parents, 2 small boys and one baby sister. The mother was carrying the baby sister and came to sit beside me. So cute lo the baby! Pui pui one. And her eyelashes are so long! She wanted to kop my handphone initially, after that I started playing with her liao hahaha~ Asked her mother's permission to take her pic on my handphone and started chatting. She asked me where I was heading, so I told her I'm on my way to teach tuition. Then the father asked her to ask me (why din he just ask me??) teach what level. In the end she left me her number and asked me to get back to her cuz I needed to get down the bus already. Bleah. Till now I haven't sms her back. Haha!

See how 1st la.

“不想工作，不想困扰自己。”

12:00 AM


Finally gotten my contact lenses! Haha~ I spent these few weeks fulfilling the list of long-accumulated wishes. Got my ears pierced (and let them heal after infection) and got my contact lenses!

Hmm.. Spent 40mins putting in the contact lenses and taking them out twice at the optical shop. Realised the ultimate power of reflex action, really powerful. Kept closing my eyes when my finger come close to the pupils. When I force my lids open and piak in the contacts my eyes keep tearing until nose got mucus. =.= The staff got pretty entertained by my first attempt and told me directly "Eh ni hen gao xiao leh!" Hurhur~ Fangz told me I looked as if I was trying to poke straight through my eyeball. =.= Felt so retarded. No wonder they could laugh until lidat just now. I only felt stunned and weird after trying to be 'immune' to my own finger coming towards my eyes and not close them automatically. In the end I managed to put in, but only after the guy assistant stood in front of me and look at my attempt while waiting to get off work. Walao, cannot throw face in front of him luh. X__X Then finally put in succesfully. Phew. So proud of myself! Luckily both eyes got the same degrees, so if suay suay waste one of either side the number of lenses left won't buey balance, e.g. left side more than right side or right side more than left side.

After struggling for so long in the shop (they closing le lor, I'm the last customer), finally got out and have my dinner-cum-supper at MOS burger. Haha~ When I got home I only took a minute to take them out lor... And I spent so long trying to put them in! The staff say other people need 1 hr to get ready to go out, I need 2 hours, cuz I'll be fighting with my lenses. Think I really had brightened their night after one whole day at work. All thanks to my clumsiness~ X__X Will there be any guy who will accept such a stupig girllll????? Then if go for date and was late, will he believe is cuz his gf duno how to put contact lenses properly?????

Conclusion: I think I will still stick to specs when I can. Except when I need to take a glass from the champangne glasses tower (see contact lenses commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mSMfRFa_qM&feature=related).

Ooh. And I got myself 2 great deals from Bugis street! One pair of nice magnetic studs for just 6bucks! And a pair of safety shorts for 5bucks! Initially a shopkeeper say is 8bucks, still dare to claim is cheapest, other places sell 10bucks somemore. What shit lor, I found a similar one for 5bucks k, still got laces one can. HAHA! Yay!~ Now can wear the mini skirt without worry lo! ^__^

And I am finally convinced that there is no such thing that I cannot wear skirts. Thanks to my personal fashion guide~ ^__^

Hmm.. from tomorrow onwards the wheel of time will be turning very fast. Will be preparing all the presents, then wednesday aftn will meet up with jc clique, evening will go fangz' house prepare, night go clubbing. Thu morning go home sleep, night time go out meet jc class for gathering. Today my hall neighbour called me to ask about our gathering also~ Haha~ Shit lor, so many meetings to go to. And Saturday will have to meet up with my xiao laopo, so long nv see her already. Must fix a date with siqi as well, she's back from taiwan! ^__^ And my 7 princess from sec sch! And plan the new year countdown celebration with sec sch clique after that, see can go where relax and welcome the new year!

Yea, yesterday went out with them. Will upload the photos once I kop from the guys.

It was a miracle that my legs are still intact after walking so much distance in heels. Fangz was amazed that my legs are still in working condition. Hurhur. I conquered the hellish heels man. Just that I couldn't run today la, cuz must rest them ma. They are feeling better lo! Hope tmr won't rain and I can go run abit. If not will lose momentum.

Ahhh~ need rest. I have a busy and fun week ahead! Woo-hoo!

1 Day Acuvue for Astigmatism!

Yay~ My magnetic ear studs! ^__^ And my contact lenses! Okay la, of course cun see them la. [ignore makeupless face, ugly look and stupig smile hurhur]


5:31 PM



2:34 PM


The little prince went away,
to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said.

"As yet you are nothing.
No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one.
You are like my fox when I first knew him.
He was only a fox
like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But I have made a friend,
and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on.
"One could not die for you.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think
that my rose looked just like you
--the rose that belongs to me.
But in herself alone she is more important
than all the hundreds of you
other roses: because it is she that I have watered;
because it is she
that I have put under the glass globe;
because it is for her
that I have killed the caterpillars
(except the two or three we saved
to become butterflies);
because it is she that I have listened to,
when she grumbled,
or boasted,
or even sometimes when she said nothing.
Because she is MY rose."


And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye" he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox.
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye,"
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose
that makes your rose so important.

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--"
said the little prince
so he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox.
"But you must not forget it.
You become responsible, forever,
for what you have tamed.
You are responsible for your rose. . ."

"I am responsible for my rose,"
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.

And the Little Prince hugged his bunbun and released his final tears before moving on into the night, under the starry sky and against the bitterly howling wind.

12:28 AM


The Three of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in truth or consequences. Denial or control is no longer an option and I am ready to experience a breakthrough. My suffering, fear, or emotional loss is/was valid, incredible and deserves to be acknowledged and expressed in order to heal or transform the sacrifice. I am empowered by recognition and my virtue is choice.

Finally.


5:48 PM


After checking out the various 2009 horoscopes for my sun sign and birthday, I decided to do a tarot spread for myself to get a more accurate overview!


THE HOROSCOPE SPREAD

1) THE SELF (Current thoughts and feelings):
8 of Cups (Reversed)

Period of emotional confusion/ Quiet desperation/ Hard to see the way ahead/ Exhaustion/ Failed relationship as root cause/ Endless search for perfection/ Outside help needed


2) RESOURCES AND MONEY (Finances, material goods and attitudes towards them):
Justice

Choice or decision that is primarily logical/ Pros and cons should make choice clear/ Require sharp mind/ Law, contracts and formal agreements/ Legal documents requiring signature/ Matter will be resolved in own favour


3) COMMUNICATIONS (Letters, tel calls, visits, movement and mental energies):
Wheel of Fortune

Destiny VS Free Will/ Fate takes a hand in one's affairs/ Strange coincidences, fortunate meetings and lucky breaks/ Beginning new cycle/ Positive confusion/ New set of friends, career


4) HOME (Parents, siblings, home life):
Queen of Cups

Emotional therapy, family therapy/ Emotional exhaustion


5) PLEASURE, ROMANCE:
6 of Cups (Reversed)

Cutting the cords binding one to the past/ Past blocking progress/ Nostalgia & sentimentality clouding vision/ Fresh start needed/ Concerted effort to live in the present


6) HEALTH & WORK (Mental, emotional, physical realms & spiritual, psychic health):
The Tower

Exhilarating change/ Revoluntionary overtones/ Brings freedom and enlightenment/ Changes without warning/ Radical upheaval of beliefs, values and behaviour


7) PARTNERSHIPS (joint ventures, husbands and wives, marriage, formal partnerships):
Queen of Wands (Reversed)

Unreliable friend or collegue making empty promises/ Jealous and vengeful woman who take offence where none is intended/ Keep her at arm's length, or she will attempt to take over your life


8) SEX, DEATH, MONEY (Taboo subjects):
10 of Wands

Burden, power, ambition, success/ Winning for ultimate realization of dream, not for money/ Achievement is possible/ Problems with delegation/ Fear of losing control of everything gained so far


9) THE FAR HORIZONS (long dist travel, philosophy of life, education, future hopes):
The Chariot

Hard work, self-discipline have paid off/ Victory in sight at last/ Success won after battle/ Energy and will-power to use abilities to the full/ Make use of own inborn gifts/ 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again'


10) CAREER:
2 of Swords (Reversed)

Think carefully/ While it denotes release and resolution, positive changes require careful handling/ Slow change, release from captivity of any kind


11) FRIENDS:
Knight of Swords (Reversed)

Deceit/ Secretive and treacherous/ Tell clever lies/ Steal your best ideas for his own ends or provoke quarrels/ Sly beneath a misleading veneer of honesty


12) WHAT IS HIDDEN (Hidden fears, unconscious wishes, limitations & blocks):
Ace of Pentacles (Reversed)

Material problems/ New-found wealth may not last/ Worry of sheer, money-grabbing greed



What a good spread, at least can link the different parts of my life together and see my overview for 2009. Year 2009 will see concentration on studies, career, financial section and self-improvement for me. Think there will be a major opportunity in either studies or career which I will ponder alot on, I may have to weigh the pros and cons to come to a good conclusion.

Eh but then hor, I think next year will have a friend (most likely a classmate, and should be a female) who will be thwarting all my plans and kop my power =.= And the person will be a very sly one (from positions 7 and 11)... Scary... Hope won't be jialat until need to 'hit small man', haha~ :: Wears onion and cross ::

Family will be around the same, but need to support each other, especially my mother. She'll be quite stressed if I'm not wrong, with more pressure than this year. Means that something will happen next year, but should not expect any completion of any matters (eg my grandmother's prob) within the year itself. Quite sure that the problems are coming to an end soon, but not so soon in 2009.

Will encounter many revolutionary changes esp psychologically and positive surprises. Will meet the surprises through communications eg letters, msn, email, calls, sms etc etc etc. Sounds exciting. Good thing that they are supposed to be positive ones. Don't want negative surprises...

And lastly, shushu needs to let go of the past and be free! ^__^ Good luck to me in the new year!



我要一个人的书局和志摩谈情！一个人的确更彻底~


2:31 PM

10:56 PM

2:16 PM

The Journey We Must Take Alone

这是个魔幻的季节。

有人说现在这一刻就是过去的累积，未来就是现在所做的事的成品。过了将近十二个月头，三百五十天，百多天的艳阳高照，和另一个百多天的风吹雨下之后，又来到了一样的十二月。吹来的风冷冷的，商场里的圣诞树高高的，乌节路的彩灯亮亮的，房间的桌子上乱乱的。从前圣诞季节的回忆一章章地在背景重播，只是这次面向的是未来，不像从前那样回头沉浸在过去式的幸福里那样奢侈。这一年的圣诞仍然会和几班死党一起度过，应该会很不错。以前一起念书的时候，我们可以说是完全离不开对方的，因为那段拼命的旅程我们一起熬过，虽然之后有几个暂时离队，但是终归还是在后来遇上了。这种感觉很好，在各自分飞后再次聚在一起才发觉从来没有离开过对方，真是令他妈羡慕的友情哪！是那种可以让人“哇哈哈”大笑，然后灌上几瓶啤酒的莫名快乐（如果我的酒量可以这么好的话）。很有画面感。

当然有些旅程是只能自己走的，我说的是即使你知道他们也可能在世界的另外一段走着和你相同的路，也未必能减轻痛苦的那种经历。那些日子的确是难熬的，还没等泪干就得被逼去做一些无聊的工作。也许是你心情不好的时候上司派你去接新的案子，教导刚入行的新人，还是无端端被另外一个白痴的部门连累，得收拾残局，可能是还没搞懂老师刚教好的课文就得做下一课的习题，还是还没收拾好心情就被推到一个全新的阶段让你无法适从，有时候就算无风无浪，但一想到每天需要做同样的事情就觉得乏味。

长大是人必经的溃烂。这些得独自走过的旅程就是考验你是否知道自己需要多少防腐剂。如果放少了，伤痕累累的心灵就会逼你以后对现实世界完全麻木，对什么都只有怨言和不屑。如果放得太多，结果大概会很可悲，因为社会上又多了个嬉皮笑脸，带着微笑面具的小丑。要拿捏得准确实是不容易的，但是还好，社会上有很多失败的例子可以让我们学习学习。那些成功的例子大多数都去出书了，所以大部分的人都已经有了那些大概一样的‘成功因素’，市场已被破坏。我们都知道要成功的话要做什么（从小学就有什么价值观念的灌输，还有什么‘礼仪廉耻’的教导），可是都忽略了若要成功，不该做的是什么。现实不是想象中的那么简单，黑就黑，白就白。要成功就努力，要失败就懒惰，才不是呢！要成功也可以不那么用功，只要有策略一样可以事半功倍。要学习的话，就从那些失败得彻底的人身上去学习，而且有很多时候那些犯错的人犯错的pattern都很多，可供参考。尤其是那些‘重蹈覆辙’的案例，在研究的时候会更加深刻，对你的帮助也不错。

说到这些生活里孤独的小小旅游，难免会让人觉得=.= 可是一想到最后可以在魔幻的季节里和其他好友聚在一起分享那微不足道的胜利就会觉得很快乐。可能还可以掀开衣袖，互相比一比谁的伤疤最多然后以鼓励的方式拍拍对方的背后。“你做到了！”那些孤单的感觉都算值得了。

最后的十五天，然后又是另一个年头的勇敢奋斗与冒险。加油！

“现在，我们要对十年后的自己投下一张信任票。
绝对……绝对不要成为我们看不起的那种大人。”
《后青春期的诗》九把刀

5:13 PM


Had a good session of tarot reading today after Mummy pestered me to do it for her. Baba also came into the room and joined the fun in attempt to prove that all those are nonsense.

Apparently some things are just so 邪门。^__~ Hehhehheh.

Had to keep emphasizing that tarot reading is NOT fortune-telling and swerve them to the correct track of choosing and asking their questions properly. If not they will be asking all sorts of funny questions like when will tio 4D, what day what time will have very good luck. =.=

Hmm.. after today's session somehow the track before us became clearer, especially regarding my maternal grandmother's matter and my father's health.

Poor baba, he can't eat much today because tomorrow he's going to the hospital for a thorough checkup. Even as I continue my very unhealthy habit of snacking, I became quite conscious that he's around the house controlling his own greed for food and may feel bad for not being able to eat what I'm eating. Haha.. Poorthing.

Just looked at the amount of calories on the packet of the snack I ate. Think I have to sweat away more calories at the gym this week le. T_T Last week's gym session's efforts down the drain with that packet of snack liao. Sad.

Fangz said she found a good shopping place with cheap and new fashion stocks somewhere near Yishun. We are going there this Saturday! ^__^ Think the auntie there can recognise her liao. Go there so many times. Haha! Hope can kop some discounts!

Tomorow meeting her at night to get my contact lenses done. Is like wait for so long le lor. Haha.. Like the ear-piercing lidat.

Ohya. I decided to let the ear-piercing heal le. My ears are too sensitive for any piercing and will kena infection regardless of how careful I take care of them and apply alcohol dutifully. It's just unsuitable for my ears. At least now I can sleep properly le, and I can always use those giap giap ones if really want to wear. ^__~

Had a date with my best friend on Wednesday night to go watch my sister perform in Singapore Poly's band at Victoria Concert Hall. Didn't really want to go but should support her la. And I already lost touch with her kind of music liao. Must up my level of music appreciation while I still have the time. Haha..

Should set my dental appointment soon.

Should finish preparing the xmas presents.. >__< But damn sian. No mood.

The weather makes the day very idle. Low energy~ Good that it's the holidays, can nua away.

Bought a cheap planner from Popular, reminds me of the time when I bought a similar one 2 years ago after my A levels and started working. Drew out my new sem's timetable and coloured it with my colour pencils. ^__^ Mummy said I'm childish. But heckcare la. I like jiu hao.

Went to hug bunbun just now~ So soft and warm! ^__^ She's the only huggable cutie available when I need a good hug nowadays. Haha~ Cute!

Shit la I think I snacked too much le. Now abit full. Later how to eat dinner??

Neh mind la~ Hahahahaha~


1:38 PM



12:19 AM

I'M MESMERIZED BY THE GIRLS. BEAUTIES.

New aim mwhahahahaha~ Gimme one year! ^_~

GANBATTE SHUSHU!

8:51 PM



10:01 PM

Last night I dreamt of something that I didn't know exist.


I was rushing on the way to his house with my mother in the heavy evening traffic at the opening of TPE. We were on a bicycle. Mummy is bringing me there. I think we turned at a wrong corner and came to a very deserted place just as the sun is setting and shining its very last rays across the horizon.

There are nothing but grass everywhere, and a nameless old memorial archway above my head. The road that we came from was dusty and grey. The air was cool and it was windy. There must be a huge water body somewhere far in front, maybe kilometres away. Cuz the wind was different from the wind we usually feel. I think I was wearing a dress. I wasn't wearing glasses or contacts, but had perfect eyesight. It was getting late and yet I had no intention of continuing the trip. I told Mummy and she just said okay, so we just stood there looking at the sun that was burning out slowly.

Even when the sun was totally down, the sky was dark blue, not totally pitch black. Didn't know why, I just went forward and lied down across the pavement and grass and stared upwards into the sky. The sky was so beautiful and mesmerizing with the stars. And there was a nebula right above me! Goodness! Really is a dream lor. Impossible to see nebula with naked eye. It's even further away from Earth than the Sun. It's oval in shape, but the ends are not exactly rounded, but more like pointed like an eye. Didn't know why I kept insisting that it was a rainbow in the night and tried convincing my Mummy when she asked while standing on my left hand side. Everything was magical and mystical.

Then the old memorial archway started to glow and became a king's simple 2 storey straw house. Peeped in and saw how poor the king was despite having many children and a shining crown. Everything turned golden in colour, and looked so out of place in the deserted grassland. Somehow can feel that the time is up and it was time to go home.

The nebula was still there. Tried convincing Mummy that it was a rainbow for the last time before I picked a worm off my hair (must have gotten onto my hair when I lied down on the grass before that) and set off for home in the comfortable quietness and the sound of crickets. We left the glowing straw house and the magnificent nebula in the cloudless and moonless sky behind us.



Just went to check it out. Realised it was called the Cat's Eye Nebula. I didn't know the existence of such a nebula until just now when I came across the different types of nebulas and saw such a shocking resemblance with the one I dreamt about.

The Cat's Eye Nebula (NGC 6543) is a planetary nebula in the constellation of Draco. Structurally, it is one of the most complex nebulae known, with high-resolution Hubble Space Telescope observations revealing remarkable structures such as knots, jets and sinewy arc-like features.

It was discovered by William Herschel on February 15, 1786, and was the first planetary nebula whose spectrum was investigated by the English amateur astronomer William Huggins in 1864.

Modern studies reveal several mysteries. The intricacy of the structure may be caused in part by material ejected from a binary central star, but as yet, there is no direct evidence that the central star has a companion. Also, measurements of chemical abundances reveal a large discrepancy between measurements done by two different methods, the cause of which is uncertain.


Went on to look for the meaning behind the Cat's Eye Gemstone.

The cat's eye gemstone should be worn when there are obstacles in business, fear of accidents and despair in life. The wearing of cat's eye gemstone brings strength, brightness, bravery, pleasure, bliss, prosperity and off springs. Cat's eye gemstone not only saves a man from his enemy but brings victory over the enemy also. Cat's eye gemstone is also said that it destroys sorrow, poverty, diseases and calamities and saves from evil spirits, hidden enemies and royal punishment. Lost money is found again and stays long by wearing cat's eye gemstone.

Day for wearing: Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday
Time for wearing: The best time to wear a cat's eye ring is two hours after sunset, or in the evening.

Which is exactly the timing in the dream: I saw the nebula in the evening and for the next 2 hours after the sunset I saw with my mother in my dream. And yup, yesterday was Friday.

It is said that the Cat's Eye gemstone shines like the eye of the cat in darkness, but it does not shine in total darkness. Which is also similar to my dream. It is night, but it is not pitch dark. Somehow there is still light in the night and remoteness. Is it hope?

I think it's a healing dream. I have never felt so free in my dream before, not even the one in which I got to fly across the field of my secondary school.

Why do I always dream of such weird stuff? Hmm~

8:26 PM

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait several hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time, she also bought a packet of cookies.

She sat down in an armchair in the VIP waiting of the airport, to rest and read in peace. Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down and started reading a magazine. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated, but said nothing. She just thought "What a nerve! If I was in the mood, I would punch him for daring."

For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her, but she didn't want to cause a scene. When only 1 cookie remained she thought "What will this man do now?"

Then the man taking the last cookie divided it in half, giving her 1 half. Ah! That was too much! She was much too angry now! In a huff she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.

When she sat down in her seat on the plane, she looked into her purse to get her eyeglasses, and to her surprise, her packet of cookies was still there. Untouched and unopened. She felt so ashamed! She realized that she was wrong. She had forgotten her cookies were kept in her purse.

The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angry or bitter. While she had been very angry,thinking she was the one dividing cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself, nor apologize.

There are 4 things you cannot recover:

the stone... after the throw,
the word... after it's said,
the occasion... after the loss,
the time... after it's gone.

Why do humans long for each other?

Why do humans feel pain and heartaches over losses?

Why are we here?

2:51 PM


今天的风很凉，很“海角七号”。那样的风景和那样的海风，像我在考试前的那一天跑到海边去所看到的熟悉和美丽。想起来还觉得自己蛮大胆的，考试不好好读书，跑到海边去看什么夕阳？我是不是浪漫过于泛滥？

可是的确是真的，夕阳和海真的很漂亮，不管是一个人还是和别人一起欣赏，也不管是在世界的哪个角落。即时是看了上万次同个地方的夕阳和海，我想其中的感动还是不会消灭的。大自然就是大自然，不会退色。比起人的内心，大自然自然而永恒多了。正是因为如此，人类才会这么坚持，立什么‘天涯’、‘海角’石头，让一个个白痴去摸个心安。真不知道会不会有人看了那部电影在无辜的‘海角’石头上面加上‘七号’二字。我不知道，这样可能会更永恒吧？哈……白痴。

有很多人啊，总是被自己的情绪蒙蔽。像是个疯掉的瞎子，自以为是，太相信自己的感觉而犯错。

如果心里正翻滚着感触，最好是让它沉淀之后才静静地摊开来仔细分析。不管是兴奋还是气愤，时间会提供呼吸和平衡的空间，把它们冲淡。本来快要炸掉的炮弹现在只剩下一丝烟，不烫手，不火爆，也比较理智，无辜死掉的人数也可以减到最少。如果要求马上从心情的一个点上跳到另一个点上，就会像在温度很低的巴士上焖了一段时间后，迫不及待要一冲下车就跑掉那样冲动。眼镜蒙蒙的，就算下了车也得先花一段时间重新适应新的空气，不然也得停下脚步先把镜片擦干，有谁可以马上在视线模糊的情况下好好的走路？先让自己的身体适应心境，然后想想是否需要调整思想还是在任何方面上做出改变。这样才不会做出让自己后悔的事，所看到的风景也会真实、清楚许多。

看戏也一样吧。刚看完后的感触会很多，不要求马上把全部的感受都写下来，等到一切平淡后再看看仍逗留在心中的最后那几分感动是哪几个。这些才是一个人真正领悟到的宝藏。

昨晚看了《海角七号》，回到家后没有立刻写出什么电影点评，反而是不断的在想自己看戏的方法有什么地方和以往不同。因为这一次走出电影院的感觉和以前真的差太远了。

我看戏曾经是用大大条神经去欣赏的，所表现的麻木高超，就连到了催泪的情节也会死命强忍眼泪。如果真的滴了几滴泪，也不可以，是绝对不可以，让别人在乌黑里看到自己在擦泪。

之后又有一段时间是完全释放感情去接受每部电影的精华，把每个故事细节、拍摄手法、音乐处理饱饱的吸收，像是海绵那般包容。吸收之后会把一切仔细地咀嚼，往往在把情节一段段的切分后会把它们之间的关系忘掉，很难将它们联系起来。最后得到的只是一个个独立片断和一段段单调的感情，喜就喜，哀就哀，迅速的感受后就消失。因为把自己完全沉浸在努力模仿现实的虚幻世界里，所以泪水可以很泛滥，笑声也可以很疯狂，可是感触之深却没有永久性。

再加上学到的艺术分析法根深蒂固，看戏大半的时间都花在猜想导演要表达什么，剧本要暗示什么，整个人进入紧绷状态。

这次不一样。因为了解到即时每个人学到的分析法是一模一样的，所得到的感动却不一定相同。只有在紧闭所有窗户后，才能接收到通过bluetooth传到自己内心的讯息。在拒绝吸收一切的当儿，那些仍能砖进心里的感动才是最珍贵的。

进入戏院的时候就猛吃零食，只想吸收食物，不想吸收任何情节那般的抵抗。很努力的把心里的窗户全部关掉。因为现在正处于脆弱的阶段，所以很害怕过度敏感，没什么也会胡乱哭一统。

到了最后一滴泪都没有流，太好了，这再也正常不过了。

可是为什么还是会那么悲伤？

因为终于明白了最单纯的爱是多么的难得。可能也只有在电影里才能找到。

这么多年的分离所包含的感情竟然放在发生了一夜情+之后几天的日久生情产生的感情旁边，以平行线那样叙述。表面上是个好结局，上一代的感情终于画下了句点，新一代的恋情也在同时萌芽了。有头有尾，不错嘛。可是又没有想过一份分离多年仍保持的感情比后者更永久，这是很奇妙的讽刺。像林晓佩的单亲妈妈的角色，女儿唱着那首“爱你爱到不怕死”，还有那个默默爱着自己老板娘的鼓手，1945年的那些心痛与思念仿佛比2008年的热恋和梦幻更真实。这样的领悟把我拉回原点：电影只是模仿现实的一个作品，一切都梦幻得无法让我相信。

其实从头到尾我都没有去管阿尬和Tomoko的感情，因为who knows?可能明天就玩完了也说不定。早上起来阿尬可能又会发现自己的玻璃门多了几个洞，因为Tomoko前晚高兴得又喝马拉桑喝得烂醉，阿尬讨厌她砸了别人的门还无理取闹说人家欺负她，两人就一拍两散。离开前Tomoko还把自己‘守护爱情’的珠链再次丢向他的玻璃门，流着两行mascara泪跑回酒店准备和唱片公司的人一起飞回日本。

阿尬和Tomoko只不过是你和我，只不过是电影院里座位上的观众而已。如果我们也在故事里面，也一样多了份浪漫基因，可能相恋的人就是我和你，只是我不懂得玩吉他，也写不出那首从《国境之南》改名而成的《海角七号》。如果阿尬和Tomoko不在故事里面，而是坐在电影院的两个陌生人，他们也可能在现实的未来中相恋。

所以说嘛，重点都不在这对荧幕恋人啦。应该看看的是那几封陈旧的信和被时间冻结的感情。如果太费力了，就看看阿尬修了一次又一次的歌词吧，它是一个很不错的总结：

如果海会说话 如果风爱上砂
如果有些想念遗忘在某个长假
我会聆听浪花 让风吹过头发
任记忆里的爱情在时间潮汐里喧哗

非得等春天远了夏天才近了 我是在回首时终于懂得

当阳光再次回到那飘着雨的国境之南 我会试着把那一年的故事再接下去说完
当阳光再次离开那太晴朗的国境之南 妳会不会把妳曾带走的爱在告别前用微笑全归还

海很蓝 星光灿烂我仍空着我的臂弯
天很宽 在我独自唱歌的夜晚
请原谅我的爱诉说的太缓慢


这个世界有太多半途而废的人，失去之后才懂得珍惜。这么老土的话，却那么一针见血。如果Tomoko没有说出要走，阿尬会说出心里话吗？他应该会继续拖拖拉拉，等到‘时机对的时候’再来看看这段情又没有机会发展。等到‘时机对的时候’，Tomoko早就飞了。对于还没有开始的感情，阿尬才不管，继续过着每天只送完半包信件的日子。冲动一点的话，可能会飞过去日本，证明自己的爱。可是为什么不早点说？浪费飞机票的钱。=.= 那些被逼冻结的感情已经够悲凉了，为什么还要悲上加蠢，在自己可以选择的时候放弃自己曾经多么努力守护而又那么相信的一段情？

“爱情的绮丽总是在孤单里”我最喜欢的那首歌是这么唱的。现实就是这样的讽刺。

这就是我最深的感触。


12:42 AM

我有责任和义务为他未来的那个唯一好好地教育他吗？

As quoted from some good friend of mine on his blog, "at this point of my life i've come to understand that there are certain things that you've just got to figure out yourself. some things just can't be told to you by others and you have just got to explore your own views and principles in order to reach the next level."

I see I have saved myself from trouble.

S.H.E最新单曲—天亮了(not the original mv)

11:50 PM



第一次连续几天不断地塞着耳机连播上百首的旋律，已经到了不听不行的程度。即使把耳机拿下，脑子里还是会继续播着几段抛不掉的旋律。有时看书还是独自走在路上的时候就会不知觉地哼哼小曲子。所听的有熟悉的也有较陌生的，可是还是第一次把每首歌听得那么仔细。歌词、配乐、主旋律……每首歌都有它感动的地方，就像人一样，拥有的故事都有值得珍惜的价值。

明天又会去Klunch.不要问我为什么不要只去一次KHappy，反正两次Klunch的时间加起来也大概是那六小时嘛。重点就在重质的追求，分量其实不重要。隔了一天，同一首歌曲的感觉一定不一样。可能这是借口，可能最终目的只是要打发时间麻木自己，都不重要。全世界可以抛弃你，音乐绝不会抛弃你。因为只要你的心灵是开着的，它永远都会为你生命的每一刻歌颂。只要你愿意聆听它回荡在自己心里的回音，你可以得到安慰和勇气，无论它是悲伤的还是快乐的。

唱完之后会和死党去看《海角七号》。很想去看看这部每个人都觉得超棒的电影魅力何在。我会把看完后的感触都写下来的。

好朋友明天就要飞到台湾去了……有点失落……还没有离开就已经在开始倒数未来的那八天了。哈~我好傻。

真是傻啊……

今天跑到后港的图书馆去借了三本书。正在努力的看，也很努力的照着书里的方法去变得更快乐些。读到后来才发现原来我已经算是个乐天派了，哈哈。还有另一本书，很有意思，把人的心比喻成快闪记忆体(flash memory)。作者把一切看得很透彻，尤其是人与人之间的感情，可以算是现代的墨子。下次会在这里多介绍。

今天好像白痴，睡到十二点才起身。一边起来一边骂自己懒惰，后来才想起来以前的我还不是这样，而我从来都没有罪恶感。哈哈~ 只是现在变了些罢了。其实今天也不算是懒惰，只是身体实在没有办法承受下去了，也只能让它好好充电。还有还有！我终于吃完晚餐了！根本就是这个礼拜的奇迹！哈哈哈哈~而且还吃了水果。妈咪看到了也为我打打气！^__^呵呵~好满足！

啊~ 期待新的一天来临！


4:10 PM



10:42 PM

Spent the entire day outside: Kbox, Arcade, Shopping, Arcade.

Whoa~ Shagged sia. Just now in shower and tried bending down... first thought that came into my mind was: Whoa~ My waist is going to crack liao! So tired lor... Even the past three days can't beat today's exhaustion. My mind is totally lagging at the end of the day. Couldn't really respond to Gabriel's comments on the bus home, so the trip back was pretty quiet.

Met up with siqi and chuan for klunch at amk. Well, as usual the girls are late, so the poor guy had to wait for the 2 charbors. Crapped abit and went for our klunch at Big Mac Centre. A weirdo served us for those 3hrs in the freezing cubicle.. Initially he looked cool (the way he asked for order), then retarded (the way he repeated our orders), then uncle-like (the way he tried making us extend the singing session). Won't go into much details cuz too tired liao. Hmm... sang the normal emo songs (e.g. 无底洞、傻瓜、想忘了、伯乐), faster and hopeful songs (e.g. 握不住的他、人生海海、小情歌、噢卖尬、开天窗)duets (e.g. 传说), stupig songs (the '对啊对啊，对啊对啊' song), hokkien songs (e.g. 欢喜就好、舞女、志明与春娇、麦来乱) cartoon songs (e.g.麦兜's songs) and retro songs(e.g. 十八的姑娘、夜来香、叉烧包）. Had a good sing after nearly half a year cooped up with dunno wad. We were wondering if the last time we came out tgth was last Christmas, but finally remembered that it was just this May's holidays and only half a year has passed. It really seems like such a long time before we regain freedom to meet up again. Just half a year and we have went through so much that we thought it has been one year. Ha! What a misleading gauge of time! After the singing session we went to look for the plug siqi needs in Taiwan when she flies there this Friday. In the end it was too expensive, so we just left without buying. On the way out we found 5bucks on the floor! So chuan picked up and donated to the YMCA tin. Ye hao~ Wun lang fei.

Went to amk hub's arcade. Saw this mini little boy hitting the drum machine (which is even taller than the boy) with his ah gong. LOL! Such a funny scene! Had to keep siaming them while watching cuz the little boy really very dangerous. It's like how some retarded girls play floorball -- they swing the stick like a golfclub. Violent! haha~ AND! Finally got to try out the new machine! Very fun!

After that went to snack abit and take bus to Bugis. Finally someone cracked the mystery behind my Minnie Mouse water bottle at the 1st try! (ok la, gabo suceeded at the 3rd try after dinner) Haha!~ Siqi dropped off halfway to go for her religion meeting while we continued to get chuan's presents for his office ppl at bugis. And HE GOT CHOCOLATES! ::temptation:: Think he spent around 30bucks on those boxes of sinful cocoa pleasures.

Then went to arcade again. According to chuan, the machines had been brought out to the front from the dark corners, so many people are playing now le, and we have to queue up. Tried connecting the 2 machines for a game.. Whoa~ the music very loud and the echo was shiok! Every time we do the connection thingy (and at night when gabo joined in the fun), there will be many people surrounding us. Mwhaha~ I sound like some attention-seeking freak. But is really fun! And chuan is Pro, and at least I wun diu his mian zi as an amateur la. So people watching is ok, cuz nv throw too much face. MWHAHA~ At least I'm getting some self-confidence back! Spent an entire hour in the arcade and came out abit er long. Hahahaha~ Everything sounded muffled lor.

After that we went to walk abit while waiting for Gabo to end work so that we can go have dinner tgth. Then I came to realise that it's more worth it to spend 10bucks at the arcade than at some neoprint shop. LOL! So ya, gabo finally turned up at the fountain. I was hungry liao, for the first time in the week! LOL! So the 3 of us went across the street for dinner. Ate my kuay chap, nearly finished it... Means my appetite is coming back!!! WOOHOO! And the rest that I couldn't finish were eaten up by the guys (they really eat very very fast la!).

Eh.. After that went back to the arcade again. Ha!~ The guys whom we saw in the afternoon were still there! But they left soon after la. Time for Gabo to show his pro-ness with his best friend! ^__~ Can enjoy the sound effect when they connect the machines and play tgth in a match. Nice~~~~ Left at around 9pm and kena pyschoed by Gabo to take bus to Serangoon before changing to mrt to get home. Quite tired on the bus le, so didn't talk much. Remembered Gabo saying something about his friend taking the jab for muscles and some random tou lan method of napping while shitting. LOL! After seeing Gabo off, we walked the LONGG way to the mrt station. Chuan said something about a friend of ours contacting our classmates so that he can sell all those “排毒美颜保”products etc and build up a large network of agents. He nearly kena la~ =.= But luckily never. LOL! Heng ah.

Reached home shagged. And no energy. Went to shower. Now blogging. Going to brush teeth and sleep le. Hope tmr will be a better day!

11:48 AM



11:21 PM

这首歌……很棒。Thx to the one who intro it to me.

她是悠悠一抹斜阳 多想多想 有谁懂得欣赏
他有蓝蓝一片云窗 只等只等 有人与之共享
她是绵绵一段乐章 多想 有谁懂得吟唱
他有满满一目柔光 只等只等 有人为之绽放
来啊 快活啊 反正有大把时光
来啊 爱情啊 反正有大把愚妄
来啊 流浪啊 反正有大把方向
来啊 造作啊 反正有大把风光
啊痒

大大方方 爱上爱的表象
迂迂回回 迷上梦的孟浪
越慌越想越慌 越痒越搔越痒


"《痒》，是一个很特别的字。　　

这种感觉是经常有的，但这个字却是我们不常写的，如果拿来唱的话恐怕就更匪疑所思了。 可凡尘俗世中，物欲横流，各人心中或多或少都难免"痒痒"，因此黄龄吟唱"多想多想有 谁懂得欣赏，只等只等有人与之共享"，倒真是替众人点破玄机，搔到痒处。　　

"来啊，快活啊，反正有大把时光；来啊，流浪啊，反正有大把方向"，这是何等的自由， 亦是何等的寂寥，一个人怕寂寞，两个人相处难，现代人往往因此而《痒》。　　

黄龄在音乐中的流畅声音表现出超越她年龄的成熟，收放自如的拿捏充分证明两年苦练没有白捱。轻盈流畅的旋律里，二胡与萧、古筝、琵琶曼妙动听，乐韵恍若就凝固在那无法追觅 的音符中，单纯中透出妩媚，清丽而不失妖娆，一起一落、一颦一笑都有如暗夜昙花般芬芳 动人。　　之所以，今天我们把这首《痒》作为黄龄亮相华语歌坛的第一首主打歌，是因为录完她，我们才真正找到了与黄龄完整契合的味道，《痒》成为一个契机，一个方向，带动了整张专辑的概念与走向，可谓是黄龄的第一个重要里程碑。
　　
MV演绎时光倒溯七十年之《痒》　　
听觉与视觉的巨大冲突　　
喜悦与哀愁的矛盾纠缠　　
时光倒流七十年 承载感动无数　　

《痒》真的是一首奇妙的歌。　　
一听难忘！"


11:50 AM

走在风中 今天阳光 突然好温柔
天的温柔 地的温柔 像你抱著我
然后发现 你的改变 孤单的今后
如果冷 该怎么渡过

天边风光 身边的我 都不在你眼中
你的眼中 藏著什么 我从来都不懂
没有关系 你的世界 就让你拥有
不打扰 是我的温柔

不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么 我的心
明明是想靠近 却孤单到黎明
不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么 我的心
那爱情的绮丽 总是在孤单里
再把我的最好的爱给你

不知不觉 不情不愿 又到巷子口
我没有哭 也没有笑 因为这是梦
没有预兆 没有理由 你真的有说过
如果有 就让你自由 这是我的温柔

我给你自由 我给你自由
我给你全部全部全部自由 Oh...

这是我的温柔和你的自由 Oh...


4:30 PM

只要放开，就能静心。正在努力学习呢！^__^

最近胃口不是很好，可是却吃了很多甜食：蛋糕、糖果、巧克力。今天桌上又多了三支棒棒糖（爸爸买的）。

吃得最多的是巧克力。一放在嘴巴，开始是腻，最后还是腻。巧克力溶得很快，也不知道是不是good quality的cocoa作的。快快消失的腻腻的甜，让我觉得很没意思，所以最后选了一颗里面包着caramel的。

甜……甜……甜……消失。

:)

这样蔓延开来的味觉让我更有精力继续冲刺！

5:15 PM

1) Kick hp addiction: Stop checking it non-stop, stop relying on it for info. Aim: Leave it aside and refrain from stealing glances at it. Unhealthy habit brings unhealthy over-reliance and bad communication problems.

2) Kick habit of sleeping late. I need proper cell renewal and good skin. Aim: By 12am.

3) Increase water intake. Aim: 2 litres everyday (then slowly build up).

4) Regular exercise: be it running alone, or with a partner. Shld persevere and get back to my healthy and agile self before I allow everything to be eaten up. Aim: Try out new sports. At least return to my original self la, not asking to be a total pro sportswoman!

5) Keep mouth shut for words of no purpose or may hurt people. I need to train up on EQ. Be more understanding and less demanding. Of course, be less selfish. Aim: Graciousness, coupled with a strong and unwavering stand of my own.

6) Need IQ as well. Kick sloth habit and pessimism accumulated in JC. And start reading like a thirsty hippo drinking up. (High chances of achieving this resolution, eat knowledge! Wakakaka~)

7) Quit unproductive imagination, especially those depressing and useless poisonous thoughts. Aim: Clear all poisonous thoughts by bedtime.

8) Stop over-reliance on astrology and tarot. (Already started in 2008, going to achieve it soon in 2009)

9) Leave ample space and freedom for everyone in my life. Balance!

10) Believe. Trust people. Including myself. It'll do all my loved ones good. Aim: Stop questioning and start believing. And be patient in the meantime!

11) Be happy and contribute positively to shared karma. Stop going into meaningless and ridiculous depression interludes unnecessarily. Very unwise to waste time and energy on them. (Lesson learned in years up to 2008) Aim: Smile more ^__^

12) Eat healthily. Train appetite. Aim: keep weight assessed while reaching target.

13) Save. $$$, electricity, water, energy, wisdom. Aim: Keep track of bills closely.

14) Brave challenges, ignore threats. Stop saying "I can't make it".

15) Study Buddhism.

16) Learn guitar. Practise chinese calligraphy.

17) Strive for scholarship. (yes i have decided)

18) Hurhur. Kick habit of fickle mindedness. (started in 2008, to be achieved in 2009)

19) Stop being good to everyone and regret later. Which is, learn to say NO.

20) Stop stupid habit of bragging. =.=

21) Stop addiction to laptop and msn. Aim: limit usage, try to stick to reading hardcopies and books.

22) Stop appearing offline so frequently on msn.

23) Learn to treat darling better. And family better.

24) 用心。

25) Train self-discipline.

AMTF.

10:30 PM

=.=

My left earlobe started to feel itchy yesterday morning, so I applied the alcohol more cautiously. But after today's long walk in the hot sun from Esplanade to Chinatown and the whole lot of sweating, it itched even more when I came out of the shower in the evening.

Ok, so I decided it's time to remove the earstud to give it a thorough disinfection with alcohol before putting it back. BUT. After half an hour's yanking, all I got was a red and swollen left earlobe. WLE.. Was practically FIGHTING with the stupig stud la. In the end waved white flag and asked for sister's help. Still stuck! So asked baba to help. (Mummy was being very helpful by reminding how stupig and vain I was to pierce my ears) Damn scary. He used scissors la! Now then I can undestand why some people may faint just by seeing the needle and syringe before having injection. Saw the scissors and totally stunned. Mummy better. She took the giap giap that baba used to remove his beard. O.O Scarryyy..

In the end Mummy saved the world.

Baba insisted that I remove the other one as well. So he helped me. By yanking it out after he finished investigating how the stupig stud actually work. DAMN FREAKING PAINFULLL.. then it started bleeding as well. =.=

Follow the red arrows. Don't ever try to pull the butterfly back out by squeezing the 'winged' parts. It will only tighten the grip on the stud. And I had quite alot of prob, because the back part of each stud that I got is DIFFERENT. So hard to remove. The shop needs to do some quality check on the earstuds they use la... =.=

Well. After dinner went to get plastic earsticks from montip and surgical alcohol from watsons. Came back and did all the disinfection and repoking.

The right hole nearly closed la!!! >_< So fast lor! I was very scared that I may have to go back and pierce at the same spot on the lobe la! SCARE ME! Mummy saw her little girl so desperate, decided to help her poke through the hole. And ya. Luckily it hasn't close fully lor.. Just like the movie I used to watch when I was small, some story about a female ghost Xiao Qian.. (All the ghosts going to reincarnate and the doors of reincarnation were closing very soon, so they were all rushing to get through the final narrow slit to the human world.) NEARLY cannot poke through le lor. But HENG ah.

Now I dunno how to sleep later with the two wounds on my sides.

Ohman... All the vanity...

But never mind... Pretty jiu hao. Hehheh...


12:00 AM



5:07 PM

无法挥舞天使的纯洁也无法拥有魔鬼的果决。被自己的虚荣之心迷惑，却又不忍心离弃已经产生感情的人事物。

贪嗔、痴傻、愚昧。

你……是不是也一样？

滿懷憂傷卻流不出淚
極度的疲憊卻不能入睡
只能夠日日夜夜　然後又日日夜夜
無盡的日日夜夜　永遠的深陷在人間


我是蝙蝠卻不能飛　困在日復一日的街
無止盡的狩獵　彷彿一種天譴
夜色就是我的披肩　日出就是我的風險
舞池裡的狂顛　是我宿命制約


上帝遺棄我們　卻又要給　黯淡的月　照亮世界
要我們無盡又無情的繁衍
看愛過的人　一一告別　做過的夢　一一凋謝
只留下我獨自殘喘的千年


無法揮舞天使的純潔　也無法擁有魔鬼的果決
只有像每個人類　貪嗔痴傻和愚昧
找尋著體溫和血　找尋著同類
滿懷憂傷卻流不出淚　極度的疲憊卻不能入睡
只能夠日日夜夜　然後又日日夜夜
無盡的日日夜夜　永遠的深陷在人間


飢餓是最好的調味　孤獨是最強的催眠
瘋狂找一雙唇　能夠當我酒杯
早就對這一切厭倦　也曾憤怒喝下聖水
卻又無助醒在　下個漫長黑夜


青春遺忘我們　卻又要給　回憶的美　就像玫瑰
要餘生流血又流淚的受虐
看鏡中的臉　慢慢枯萎　高舉的拳　漸漸粉碎
只留下了無限唏噓的相片


無法揮舞天使的純潔　也無法擁有魔鬼的果決
只有像每個人類　貪嗔痴傻和愚昧
找尋著體溫和血　找尋著同類
滿懷憂傷卻流不出淚　極度的疲憊卻不能入睡
只能夠日日夜夜　然後又日日夜夜
無盡的日日夜夜　永遠的深陷在人間

一個又一個孤單的千年　只能夠日日夜夜
然後又日因夜夜　無盡的日日夜夜
我不能飛


10:06 PM

"Human society can be full of contradictions. It can be unfair; unforgiving, too. Yet we cannot afford to dismiss it and turn our backs to the world. A person who does loses, and no excuse can gloss that over. Given a choice whether to sink or swim, one must swim to the very end, no matter how the seas around us may rage. "

"It is human nature to desire recognition and to want to look better than what we are. When that desire seizes control of us, it is easy to lose sight of who we are and what our real purpose is. Spiritual corruption begins from there. The best thing is to be true to one's heart. "

-Daisaku Ikeda

This is how I find my peace. I won't let anyone or anything snatch the balance and self-acceptance which I have finally achieved after so many years of hard work from me. I will move on wiser and stronger than before. No one can stop me. No one.

Wait and see.